Insert random "celebrity" name here!

I was recently shocked and saddened to hear that someone close to me spends much of her time…“Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” She also has an unrelenting thirst for knowledge in relation to Katie Holmes’ new hair cut, what advice Oprah has for Rihanna, and whether or not there are any new details surrounding the alleged pairing of Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong. In short, she is a gossip junkie. I am not certain why I was so flabbergasted by this revelation; my sons and are often nearly brought to tears (laughter tears) by the row upon row of tabloid “headlines” with which we are bombarded at the grocery store. I was about to type that I was “fascinated” by these headlines and the interest that they apparently provoke. However, “fascinated” is truly not the word. More accurately, I am confused.

My confusion is primarily insular; I guess it stems from the fact that I just cannot see how knowing whether or not Britney Spears is still in contact with the paparazzo that she once dated, or finding out why Kelly Clarkson does not want children, impacts my, or anyone else’s life (unless you know them). Since research shows that these magazines and websites are thriving, people are obviously spending the time and money to seek out and read these “news articles.” If you’re going to surf the web and peruse the newsstands, why wouldn’t you read, absorb, and ruminate on ACTUAL news? There would seem to be very little journalistic rigor in the analysis which concludes that Nicole Ritchie was seen about town “without a baby bump! She’s THAT thin!” Neither Nicole Ritchie’s weight nor the fact that she hides her pregnancy well is relevant to my life.

Of course, people will say that this idle idol worship is just entertainment; it’s just escapism for the economically harsh and morally corrupt time in which we are living. I contend that if MORE people paid LESS attention to this psyche-softening, voyeuristic celebrity (and I use the word quite loosely) emulation, there would be far fewer things from which we would need to escape.